sometimes, it's just totally confusing as to the way things are going. because i don't know what i myself want. somedays, i don't feel anything at all. somedays, imissyou like crazy, even though i shouldn't be. and there are those days where i feel that nothing's ever possible between us. and exactly in the opposite direction, there are days where i feel that maybe, just maybe there's something.
everything added up together gives me the hugest headache in the world. and sometimes i just shut it out by not listening to anything or by blasting my music so loud to drown out the incessant thoughts that just gather in my mind. but there are times where it doesn't work, and my mind flows into overload and just dies away slowly. because i can't pretend that i don't have those feelings no matter how much i deny. and then, i just either go into work overloading or fall asleep. to forget? to not think about it? i don't know. but sometimes it helps.
i wanna be, the one who'll be there for you. but he's already got somewhere else to hide if and when he's feeling down, and i'm not really needed at all. hah. i don't know if i can ever see a happily ever after, since i don't really see myself anywhere relationally in the near future, cause he's the only one my eyes are on.
but one day, someone will look at me the way that i'm looking at him now. and that's the day that i'm waiting for. i'll be even cooler if that someone is him. but life doesn't always work out that way. we'll see i guess. (:
pessimistic or optimistic, i don't know which one to be.
but here's a picture for you.
