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THE BLOG! :) obviously, but also to a world of wonders and mysteries
that are to be unraveled because that's precisely what SHE (or rather
me,) is all about. if you know me, welcome to another side of me.
but if you don't know me, it's okay. i still welcome you into a world of me
and what happens. i'm not anywhere near perfect, but here is where
i share my experiences and learnings. hope you'll be blessed reading
my entries!
LOVE YOU!
Sunday, October 18, 2009

i just want to be normal, like everybody else.

was ranting to someone that day. not important who that someone is, but i was just talking. and telling that someone that, sometimes, i wish that i wasn't such a high flyer. i think that my very first role in that movie was like a foreshadowing of who and what i would become. in secondary school, i was already a young high flyer. taking like 4CCAs. who in the freaking world has FOUR CO-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES?? - answer: ME.

yes, i've always had this problem where i walk down a corridor and about 17 people go "HI!" and i smile and greet them back and immediately go in my mind "who was that?". if not, i'll be thrown the question " you're from (insert school / CCA / club) " and i'm like "yeah! hi. how are you and who are you?"

yeah, in secondary school, there really was a metamorphosis - from quelyn the normal girl to quelyn the high flyer. and it never stopped. now, when will my next metamorphosis come along? i don't like the high profile life anymore. ok, if it were in the clubs, i don't mind. if it were in my social circle of friends, i don't mind. but not in school and not in hall. BECAUSE I CANNOT BE MYSELF.

quelyn is an entity that the conservative people around me cannot comprehend nor understand completely. only people who are sososo freaking close to me will know what i'm true nature is. and obviously, it's not coming out anwhere near NUS. sighs. how much longer must i endure not letting my true nature shine true.

right now, i'm irritated because i feel like a dull piece of broken jade when i could very easily be my little shining diamond. i'm irritated when people question my dress sense. YES, i dress up to go to school. SO WHAT? DON'T YOU? oh. i forgot, you can't be bothered to. but i do! i respect the people around and me and therefore i will dress myself up instead of walking around shabbily dressed. obviously, it's a different thing in hall because if i wear my shirts and skirts, people start staring and wondering why in the world would a hostilite dress up while in hall.

argh. frustrations, frustrations.

i'm glad i lost my freaking tagboard code, cause i know that 37489724926million people will be waiting to FLAME me after seeing this post.

again, i say. i'm living my life. go live yours and don't be jealous of mine.
you want to gossip, slander, GO AHEAD. i'm past the point of wanting to smack you back.
but i just don't understand why i'm having to put up with your shite when i've DONE NOTHING TO YOU..

whatever.