falling in too deep, i want to be your angel.
i want to take it slow with him. like really, really slow. because i don't want to step into another trap that will hurt me. i don't want to step into something that will leave my heart in pieces again. but the more i try to stop myself, the faster i fall. how do i overcome this cycle that i've trapped myself in.
i can't stop myself from falling. and my friends think that this is a very big change from who i used to be. but, he got me thinking about somethings seriously. he's like an anchor for my changeable emotions and a lock of security for my floating soul. the stability that i feel with him, i don't know how to explain it.
and i know i'm falling in too deep. because i'm already wanting to be your angel. to love you. and to be with you.
but i know that this is something that i can't rush.
stop me from falling dear. stop me .
on another note, i know that most of the time, i've lost my faith in religion because there's so much that i don't believe anymore. i don't believe that i can be forgiven. i don't believe that i deserve to be forgiven. and i just want to go on with my life, making the choices myself, loving the people that i want to love. all this while, my previous boyfriends have never been christian. and because of that, i don't believe god will love me ever again. because i don't believe that i can live the life that god wants me to.
but sometimes, videos depicting god's love, still touches me.
and maybe one day, i still can be saved.