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THE BLOG! :) obviously, but also to a world of wonders and mysteries
that are to be unraveled because that's precisely what SHE (or rather
me,) is all about. if you know me, welcome to another side of me.
but if you don't know me, it's okay. i still welcome you into a world of me
and what happens. i'm not anywhere near perfect, but here is where
i share my experiences and learnings. hope you'll be blessed reading
my entries!
LOVE YOU!
Friday, August 07, 2009

when we go down into eternity, remember me.

it's less than 32hrs to performance time. and that number will just keep dwindling to a smaller number, until it's just minutes and seconds left on the clock. the sacrifices i've made for that 5minutes have repercussions that might last me a lifetime, but i feel that it's all worth it. because in my whole life, i've never felt so strongly for something as i've felt for rag. for the first time, i sense that i'm really part of something more. an experience that money cannot replace. because it's the time spent that matters.

this year, as the previous year, i'm not very close to the dancers. i'm never really close to anyone, and no one can really second guess my actions or what i'm thinking. i've said, i'm a whirlwind personified. but through this period of time, i've made new friends that i know that i will keep dear to my heart. i've had experiences that i know will last me a lifetime. and this year, there's an added determination to win what we have lost.

yesterday, i missed practice for the first time since i started dancing. because i was sick. and i finished a whole freaking box of panadol just in that few hours. i probably overdosed, but it made me feel better, just enough to get back to practice. that's how seriously i take rag practice. i'm not the best dancer around, i know. but as long as i have another breath left in me, i'm giving it to rag.

after rag, it's going to take a long time for my body to recuperate. but it's the price i'm paying. and it doesn't matter. people sacrificed their freedom, sleep and social life. so sacrificing my health shouldn't be a big thing. or at least it isn't to me. as long as we win rag. as long as sheares hall goes down in history with this rag, i'm more than satisfied.

i can't sleep. the excitement in me keeps the adrenaline running. i guess there are other things on my mind as well, but i'm lucky that i've had rag to walk that horrendous journey with me. to me, doing rag was a win-win situation because it kept my mind off many negative things even if only temporary.

my mind is not working now, so it's just verbal vomit coming out from whatever my brain is processing now. but i know that i know that i believe we're going to win. we've already won on our side because we've given it our all. all we need is that affirmation on that day itself.

31.5hrs more to eternity.