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THE BLOG! :) obviously, but also to a world of wonders and mysteries
that are to be unraveled because that's precisely what SHE (or rather
me,) is all about. if you know me, welcome to another side of me.
but if you don't know me, it's okay. i still welcome you into a world of me
and what happens. i'm not anywhere near perfect, but here is where
i share my experiences and learnings. hope you'll be blessed reading
my entries!
LOVE YOU!
Monday, August 03, 2009

being with you is dangerous, it's like living with a timebomb .

another early morning post. 9.16am where i am right now and it seems that sleep doesn't really like me because i've been trying to get as much sleep as possible, but i always end up waking up quite early and having to force myself to go back to sleep. today's different because i've got dance at 10am, so there's no way that i'm going to go back to sleep. but my body is really tired and crying out for help because it's already not in its best condition. ankle's busted. back's strained. and immunity system's quite screwed. body clock is even more screwed. and well, my mind is somewhat settling down already and is prepared for the worst to come (even though i try not to think about it, i still do because i don't want myself to get hurt again. it's like walking headlong into something you know is dangerous but at the same time holding a shield in front of you, a shield that somehow drags you down till you're tired.)

personal feelings aside for a while, it's less than 6days to rag and that's why i'm not taking any MCs or even trying to rest. it's a bad habit of mine to do so because we've worked so hard for so long and i don't want to be the weakest link. so i force myself to be stronger than i seem to be. it takes a toll on my body very evidently, like last year, it took me almost 5months to recover from the injury. this year, i don't know how long it will take for my body to recuperate, but hopefully it's faster. :) and at least this year i didn't really re-sprain my ankle, just really strained it to a point where it cries out and then i take a break for a while.

it's less than 6days for sheares hall to go from history to eternity. and i'm prepared to pay the full price to make sure that happens. rag, is one of the most important things to me because it's really the shearite experience that i treasure the most. this year, may be my last year doing rag? i'm not too sure. but whatever it is, i am giving it my all. in this last 6days or less, i know that it's not only the dancers who will be working hard because the people downstairs like the material engineers and designers will be working even harder to complete the float. JIAYOU PEOPLE! WE'RE GETTING THERE!! RAG09/10 will definitely got down in history. :)

personally, i just keep telling myself to keep the "we are just friends" view and enjoy the now. there are times when i worry that the "now" will suddenly stop, but i guess i just have to let off on the amount of time that i spend together with him. for the next 6days, i solemnly swear that i will message him as little as possible and have as little contact with his as possible. i will focus on rag and only look for him after this period because concentrating on rag is more important and i need my emotions to be as stable as possible to ensure that i perform well.

anywayys. sighs. i got to go now. so many things happening today. shite. just got a freaking call and i need to run like now! ciao. sighs.