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THE BLOG! :) obviously, but also to a world of wonders and mysteries
that are to be unraveled because that's precisely what SHE (or rather
me,) is all about. if you know me, welcome to another side of me.
but if you don't know me, it's okay. i still welcome you into a world of me
and what happens. i'm not anywhere near perfect, but here is where
i share my experiences and learnings. hope you'll be blessed reading
my entries!
LOVE YOU!
Monday, July 06, 2009

what is the price we pay for the many things we do?
what are the wages of that which has to be done?


if i walk the wrong path this time round again, at least i want it to be a happy journey into the depths of the never-ending abyss. and, i'm willingly walking onto this path of (almost) no return because it's a one-way ticket to (mostly) disaster. between doing what is right but painful, i'm choosing to do what is wrong but fulfilling. the fulfillment may only be momentary. but that's all i want for now. instant gratification. waiting for so long, i haven't seen Him appear yet. no matter how much i pray or how faithfully i attend cellgroups and services, or how piously i do my quiet time - there's always no answer, no presence, nothing.

and i'm running back to the world. at least there, i'm wanted and used to my fullest ability, and my talents don't go to waste. i'll sing and dance my life away if that's the last thing that i do. but i envy those people who keep hearing from God. i envy them because at least they have some form of reciprocation when they pray or worship and things like that. i long for that but never get it. i'm still trying, still praying, still pushing on. but at the same time, i'm looking for what i need in the world as well.

but i have a feeling, that i'll never find it. not in religion, nor the world. i'm destined to hang in limbo all my life, as far as i can see right now.

to him,
boyy, will you turn back
and just take a look at me
every once in a while.
that will be more than enough.

and as for sports camp, this year, there will be no ending for me i guess. because after the camp got cut short, it marks the end of life as i once knew it to be. no more beach games, no more fun. just rag dance and more rag dance. those four days that i spent with SOZAI were really, the most fun that i've had since the start of the holidays. four days of running around and doing silly but fun things. i couldn't have asked for more. though short-lived, i can safely say that indeed, sports camp is one of the best orientation camps that NUS has to offer. YOYO SPORTSCAMP! - when the one day event comes, take the day and go have fun with it. make sure you have LOADS of fun, take my share as well because i'll be there in spirit to experience the atmosphere with you.