i don't have much to say, and there's nothing much i want to say anymore. no one cares, end of the fucking story. God, where are you? i guess you've forgotten about me, and that's why my fucking existence doesn't matter anymore. no one cares. truly, no one fucking does. the people whom i care for, they don't realize how much pain i go through for them. the inability to chase dreams because i'm chasing theirs. i'm a weakling because no matter how much i say i don't want to live their dreams for them, i already am living their dream, because i care for them and i don't want to disappoint them. because i love them. but obviously, that love is unrequited. i'm not even talking about romantic love - the boyfriends i've had probably loved me more than them. i'm talking about family love. the mother doesn't care, the sister can't be bothered. the brother, at least still has some heart.

you want to argue? money is not love. time is not love. shelter is not love. education is not love. that's just what you can give. love is fucking unconditional. and i wonder why i am unconditionally loving them when they don't do the same to me. i always thought that it's supposed to be that way in families. but obviously, i'm so fucking wrong.

don't ask me about what happened. no matter who you are, i'm not talking to you. not even you korie. i won't talk. if you ask, i'll just shrug my shoulders. no one cares, so why should i tell anyone and start dehydrating myself.

the tears, they just fall.
the dreams, they just melt away
and that's how reality hits you

i looked you in the eyes
thought you'd understand the pain
but you looked away and said
nothing

when no one's here to hold your hand
when no one's there to let you rest your head
you know you're living in hell

everyday the clouds pass, time flows
through your hands, your fingers.
but the pain doesn't go away

and you finally see that you're all alone.