and slowly, you feel it draining out of you.
the last few days have been slow, but quite eventful i guess. i realized that i'm looking prettier as the days go by. and sometimes i wonder if it's because of a particular person. but i'd rather think that it's mainly because i'm taking care of myself better. to tell the truth, i'm still not eating properly, especially since i came back from the island resort. my tummy's just been rejecting everything that i come into contact with.
a few things have come to mind and i've decided to take them up despite my already crazy schedule. firstly, i'm wanting to get a guitar - doesn't have to be the very expensive one. even a second hand one will do for me now because i don't think i want to start of with a really expensive professional guitar just yet. i want to take up the guitar and start writing tunes to my songs. secondly, i'm going to interview for a job at PLAYER. no, it's not some dirty R-rated magazine. it's the name of a new restaurant/bar located at the south bridge road area. and the reason for doing so is because i want to earn more money to get into a talent course that may lead to something even more.
i'm going to chase the dream as i study in NUS. :) on my own strength? maybe. but hopefully as time goes by, God's plan will slow get into gear. if the world is not going to support me, at least when i die, i know that in my lifetime, i tried to chase that dream and i won't regret not taking action.
and with regards to him. i know it's not even a relationship. it's something so casual that sometimes i feel it won't go anywhere. we're like friends, yet more than friends, yet not together. but sometimes in life, this in between feeling is just nice. i don't need someone to be my boyfriend. just cruising along in his car and talking to him about every other thing in life makes me feel that it's more than enough. there's a part of me that wants more, but i know that it's something i'm not prepared to handle . so, this little secret between me and him is more than enough for now.
if there's anything that i need right now, it's the courage to walk on with my own life.
i've been outstanding to the world for far too long, taken too many responsibilities and forgotten about myself. so maybe that's why i'm so forgettable. even if it takes a long time, i'm going to remember myself so that the world will remember me as well.
ciao for now.