just some little ranting updates before i start on my post proper. spent today quite well i would say, met up with xinyi at raffles city to talk about some blockhead stuff. :) if you remembered, I'M GOING TO BE BLOCKHEAD NEXT YEAR. lols. and i'm actually super excited to take the challenge up, even though i know it's not going to be easy. anyways, talked with her for about an hour about some block stuff and much. after that, read a bit of "carnage and culture" - the book on military history that's currently my leisure read. hahas. thanks to terence for lending me the book. :) then met up with my mum and got a hair cut instead. lols. haven't had it cut for almost more than a year already. but now it's shorter. i think it's pretty, but i'm not really used to it yet. all in all, i think i had a fulfilling monday. :)
now, back to the post proper! the "perfect imperfect man" - some thing that joyjoy and i brought up while we were in the cab on the way back to bishan on like monday morning after fellowship. hahas. i've been single for a long long time, and i intend to be until the right one comes along. currently, i would say that there are a lot of good "candidates" around me because the people i've been meeting in school and through friends have really been quite good catches. but they always fail in one aspect - they're rarely christians. and those christians around me, well, let's just say that so far, only one person has passed most of my criteria, but he's not looking yet. wonder where all the good guys have gone? - either they're already taken or are not christian. >.<
but, i believe that even if that one person i know does not like me at the end of the day, there will always be that perfect imperfect man out there for me. someone who will support my (however unrealistic it may seem now) dreams and be the one to pray and encourage me everyday for the rest of our lives, someone whose dream i can support as well from which ever position i am in when i step up into my destiny. like all other girls, i do have my fantasies of what kind of guy i would like. but recently as i've been reading the bible more, it seems that the list of "must-haves" are increasing by the day because i keep having revelations of what a good, godly guy should be like and, the more i read, the more i want that kind of guy.
of course, i'm not wanting a god to be my husband, nor do i want a pastor-to-be as my husband-to-be. but i believe that even if this man is not god, nor a pastor, he will still live up to my expectations of a man. afterall, we are under a really strong pastor who advocates that guys are "male by birth, man by choice". :) and that's something i strongly believe in. until a guy proves to me that he's worthy of being called a man, i always call them "boy". hahas.
but i guess the standards have not really been set yet because these guys around me are just learning to be men. as for me and my standards, i would still say that there's still that one person whom to me is a man already, but let's not get our hopes up too high. :P and i know that more men will be coming my way. i'm just 20 this year, and i'm not in any rush to get married and what not cause i'm enjoying the sweetness of singlehood. :) whee. plus, i just started out on my journey with God anew and just had my first breakthrough. i'm not willing to give up my God for a relationship at this point of time unless i feel that the person is really really worth it.
the other day i was sitting next to you and realized that you've really changed so much. because sitting next to you, i finally feel that you've become a man. :) that moment, my heart skipped a beat. but i realized that we're both not ready and that i'm not good enough for you yet because in my current state, i cannot support whatever dreams you have.
adios dear readers! :)
