i guess i can't run from here cause it's still where i'm the most comfortable. 11pm had block comm meeting in the lounge. left the room for a good 45mins. was really quiet at meeting because i walked in with tears still streaming down. thanks for all the concern guys, esp keith, for coming up all the way to my room to check on me. but i'm really sorry for not contributing to the meeting. i hope that in some other way i'll be able to help. i know comm's closing soon and exams are really close, so we're all rushing for time. quelyn will be here, i promise.

45mins later, why does it feel like i still cannot breath.

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3.11am/ can't seem to fall asleep. why does it hurt even more? why do tears fall involuntarily? you shouldn't be here. go be happy. come back when you're twenty and one week old. come back when you're twenty-one. i don't want you to see me in this pathetic state. because even i don't pity myself anymore. because...

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still not sleeping. insomnia? whatever. don't bother about me. probably just too many things on my mind. it's a good thing i'm not sleeping tonight either. probably will have nightmares. i'll sleep in the day..

내 머리는 너무나 나빠서
너 하나밖에 난 모르고
다른 사람을 보고있는 넌
이런 내 마음도 모르겠지

너의 하루에 나란 없겠지
또 추억조차 없겠지만
너만 바라만 보고있는 난
자꾸 눈물이 흐르고있어

너의 뒷 모습을
보는것도 난 행복이야
아직 나의 마음을 몰라도
끝내 스치듯이 가도

니가 너무 보고싶은 날엔
너무 견디기 힘든 날에는
너를 사랑한다 입가에 맴돌아
혼자 다시 또 ㅊ릥 폴 ㅛㅛ
혼자 다시 또 밋싱 폴 ㅛㅛ
바븨로ㅔㅔㅛㅛ
ㅣ뫄ㅣ팅포료ㅜ

너의 하루에 난 없겠지
또 기억조차 없겠지만
너만 바라만 보고있는 나
혼자 추억을 만들고 있어

내겐 사랑이란 아름다운 상처같아
너의 예쁜 미소를 보아도
함께 난 웃지도 못해
니가 너무 생각나는 날엔

가슴 시리고 슬픈 날에는
니가 보고싶다 입가에 맴돌아
혼자 다시 또 ㅊ릥 폴 ㅛㅛ
혼자 다시 또 밋싱 폴 ㅛㅛ
바븨로ㅔㅔㅛㅛ
ㅣ뫄ㅣ팅포료ㅜ