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THE BLOG! :) obviously, but also to a world of wonders and mysteries
that are to be unraveled because that's precisely what SHE (or rather
me,) is all about. if you know me, welcome to another side of me.
but if you don't know me, it's okay. i still welcome you into a world of me
and what happens. i'm not anywhere near perfect, but here is where
i share my experiences and learnings. hope you'll be blessed reading
my entries!
LOVE YOU!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009

even the deepest love hurts its lover at times
unintended words
unintended actions

i'm sorry.


spent the whole day sleeping again. by the time i woke up, i missed my whole french lecture and half of my geography lecture. sighs. it seems like this happens at the end of the term when everything finally sets in and there's so much to do that all my body wants to do is sleep, in preparation of the long and hard fight in april.

and my mind, it wanders to places that i don't want to go to, explaining the nightmares, self-doubt, doubting others - especially the one closes to my heart, and i know that i can't take that hurt away, no matter how many apologies i give. (a thought flashed through my mind that said "maybe it doesn't hurt you because i'm not important enough". but the thought was erased with the next line that said "but it will hurt because he cares.") and i realize that the hurt i inflict on others is the same hurt that other people have inflicted on me before. not necessarily an eye for an eye, but like if person A hurts me in a certain way, i'll hurt person Z in the same way. sighs. bad habit i have to change change change.

just finished filming today's BEP scenes. it's going to be a mad rush this weekend, editing and filming whatever needs to be filmed and edited. sighs. i'm gonna go crazy soon from the stress and all the people around me rushing me and telling me that they cannot make it and telling me that it's going to be impossible to finish. PLEASE, ENCOURAGEMENT WORKS BETTER. tell me i can make it instead of the opposite.

i think i'll need ALOT of encouragement the next few weeks. i'm going through a downtime, i have mountains of assignments that i'm not doing until after 1st april, i have BEP to worry about until 1st april, i'm going crazy thinking about seniors farewell presents, i'm going crazy trying to get things to the post office on time, i have to keep up with my mentoring duties, keep up with my studies, my running schedule. omg. so many things. i'm going to die a horrible and terrible death. rar.

N415 and all my christian friends, keep me in your prayers. if you know me and you read my blog, drop me a message or two - esp. all my very silent readers. or you know what, just tag my board. i'll be more than happy. to my dear Youth Factory, i need motivation and encouragement to believe in myself and the results that i can create.

right, going for a hall event now. sighs.
hold me high, cause i need the support.