today was one of the days that i haven't had in a long time - where i feel like just breaking down into tears and crying my heart and soul out till there is nothing left in me. i feel so demoralized about so many things at the same time and i'm almost scared to even look up and out into that bigger world in front of me because, i just don't know what's the next step i should take. how should i deal with this situation, how should i talk to that person. i know how i should do it, but i know that the person is not going to take it very graciously. they all hate me already. and dishonestly, i will say that i don't care. honestly, i will say that it's affecting me a lot. so many things. hah. i pray that i could forget them all, so that life could be happier. but then again, it is a growing process too. so maybe i should try to enjoy it as much as possible. sounds sadistic.
God, where are you?