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THE BLOG! :) obviously, but also to a world of wonders and mysteries
that are to be unraveled because that's precisely what SHE (or rather
me,) is all about. if you know me, welcome to another side of me.
but if you don't know me, it's okay. i still welcome you into a world of me
and what happens. i'm not anywhere near perfect, but here is where
i share my experiences and learnings. hope you'll be blessed reading
my entries!
LOVE YOU!
Friday, February 06, 2009

thought it through.
and then thought it through.
and then again thought it through.

honestly in my mind, there are some thoughts
and i don't want to say them out loud to you
because i don't want to spoil this friendship
i really love you as a friend and i treasure it
but i really really got hurt because of you
i want to say somethings to you, however
i know that if it's not true, then i'll be hurting you

CONFUSED. this is f-shit.
why the hell did it happen in the first place?
why? whyy? whyyy? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
everyone tells me that it's not an excuse to be high.
but i want to believe you cause you're my friend.
but i doubt myself at the same time.

I HATE THIS PART RIGHT HERE.
RIGHT HERE. I HATE IT.

GOD, WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS?
WHAT KIND OF TRIAL OR TRIBULATION IS THIS??
WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU PUT ME THROUGH THIS KIND OF TORTURE?

IT HURTS LIKE HELL.
IT HURTS WORSE THAN HELL.
I'D RATHER BE IN HELL THAN GO THROUGH THIS PAIN.
WHY DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH IT?

i don't want to say anything to you
because i want to forgive you
and i know that i hate that part
i really can't take your tears
so i'd rather you don't cry.

i'd rather cry myself
then let my bestie cry.

i'm cold-blooded when it comes to boys
i'm the most hard-hearted player in the club
OR RATHER THAT'S WHAT I USED TO BE.

now, i'm warm-blooded when it comes to boys
i'm even more warm-blooded when it comes to my girls
i'm soft-hearted and i don't really play anymore
i'm soft-hearted because i found him
AND THAT'S WHY I'M IN PAIN NOW.

for the first time in 19years, i stick to my newyearsresolutions
and I GET HURT BECAUSE I STUCK TO THEM.
aren't newyearsresolutions supposed to make life better?

FUCK.