woke up for my 9am tutorial today. and i'm in lecture now, obviously half listening only because i'm blogging. slept at about 1plus in the morning and i'm very proud that i could wake up for my tutorial. :D put my alarm clock at three different timings to do so though. but this morning it was easier and harder to get up i guess. easier because i didn't really want to stay in bed any longer. harder because the room suddenly felt so big and empty, most of all, lonely.

my brain was clear by probably 7am because of all the ringing that the alarm was making and it got me thinking a lot. of what happened the past few days, the past few weeks. and i realize one thing, maybe i've gone too far in some things that i did and somethings that i said. suddenly i feel that i've been putting too much pressure on BBFF. i don't know if he thinks so, but i feel i did because i went overboard on pressing my point that i love him. well and fine that i don't mind telling the whole world, but i guess it must have been pressurizing to be reminded everyday.

but after today, i won't say it.
i won't say iloveyou anymore.
because i don't want to pressure you
because i don't want to push my opinion on you

for now, ilovemybbff.
that's it. :D