but i'll have to leave soon cause i need to help my parents out with stuff
and then i have to go for thanksgiving cell tonight.
busybusy/ worse than a bee! :(
Netball training this morning, but it was more of a watch my fellow netballers train cause i didn't get to play or anything. i only did warmups. :( well, i guess it's my fault cause i never really went for practice during the hols cause i was busy with other stuff and now, i'm not really that good a netballer. i mean, yah. i can pass the ball, i can defend a bit. but not much cause i'm still not used to all these sports things. tell you a secret: i love sports, but i can't play them for nuts. that's why i stick to running. but then, now i can't even run. sometimes i feel that slowly, one by one, the things & people that i love are being taken away from me... dancing, singing, now running. everything i ever loved and bothered about. maybe it's God's way of punishing me for all the wrongdoings that i have committed. but today, even though i didn't get to play, i still have fun with my Netball girls. :D
but on another note, i'm quite disappointed with another group of people. how incompetent can a person get? how inefficient can a person be? you know, i'd rather not know the answer because i'm already quite unhappy with them. i really don't want to say anything bad about them because i want to believe that they are able to do what i think they have not done. i want to believe that their potential is still there, that they just haven't proven it to me. but sooner or later, i think i'll have to be the bad guy. the person who was supposed to be the "devil" of our committee is now asking me the "angel" to be the "devil". i really want to say no because i know that once i take over, the whole committee will either buck up or become demoralized. :( God, i need strength and patience to do this, to take care of this committee that you have put in my stewardship.
i shall not say out this feeling in me
because i know that there can be no we
i don't want to fall for a person like thee
because i know it ain't decreed
but do you understand the importance
of words
not pretty nor hot, but simply
beautiful
do you know how much it means
to me
i can't forget your protective ways
i can't forget your caring deeds
i can't forget your gentle words
that carried me into my dreams
how can it be so right
when i know it's all wrong.