first post of the NEW YEAR!

i totally cannot believe that 2009 is HERE already. it seems like 2008 went by in quite a flash. i spent the last night of 2008 with the J'Crowders, mostly the older ones now though. but it was really a good time of fellowship. i'm glad that i didn't spend my last night of 2008 clubbing and stuff like that. though, i did go to Isa's house to drink and get high because i needed the courage to do something right.

so, on the first day of the new year, i ended a relationship that God wouldn't have liked. i hurt him, but at least, i was doing the right thing. i know that if i had continued on, it would have just ended in me being screwed up again and i might just take another two years to get back to God. nope. i don't want that to happen again. so, it's over. i'm not very happy though cause i feel i hurt him very badly. i tried to get the message across lightly but, he misunderstood me. but i guess it's better that he leaves me, misunderstanding me so that he will never turn back to look at me again. it'll be better for the both of us. but, i still feel very screwed. and sad. and misunderstood. and sad. and bitchy. and argh. whatever else he's calling and cursing me now. but, yah. i guess i kinda deserved it.

didn't sleep the whole night cause i felt bad about it. i was totally forlorn. like gone, gone, gone! i thought my life would end on the first day of 2009. but korie told me not to be too hard on myself because i did the right thing. but KORIE.. how can the right thing feel so sh*tty. :( i don't want to msg that to korie cause i know he's probably worried enough for this very problematic lil' kid sister of his. plus, he's out of tekong for the new year, so hahas. i thought, i'll give him a break. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME KORIE! I'M VERY FINE. :D er. i think.

ohwell. at least on the last night of 2008, i was in good company.
and on the first day of 2009, i did something that was right.

good start to the new year? yeah. mostly, if you minus the pain and the guilt etc. etc. etc. but it'll get better! i'm already starting to fulfill my resolutions of this year because i'm going to spend a bit of new year with my DADDY! hahas. i haven't seen him since don't know when. but i'm having lunch with him later. so yah. :D loves!

alrighty! i have to pack to go home. argh.
ZOO-ing tmr with Yan&Nic.
OMG! i haven't seen them for like MONTHS!!!

yeah. you know, quelyn's a busy little bee and she's always running somewhere, doing something. so i got really busy and didn't have time to get together with them. but i swear i totally MISS THEM TO BITS! but tomorrow is ONE FULL DAY with them. oh and Nic's boy too. i'm seeing my best friend's bf for the first time even though they've been together for like more than half a year already! what a WONDERFUL friend i am...

looks like the year ahead is good!

1st day - did something right, spending time with daddy.
2nd day - spending time with besties at the ZOO! spending time with club buddies @ Phuture.
3rd day - going for PVC2 Mentor's Interview!! going to J'Crowd after that. :D
4th day - spending time with N415!