one of the most beautiful korean songs that i will probably love and remember for the rest of my life because it speaks so strongly of what i felt when i looked at him yesterday. he became someone that i didn't know, someone i didn't fully understand. he's become someone with great responsibility and destiny. when i saw him talking to that group of people the way he did, i realized that he'll be going places soon, without me. because with my standards, i'm nowhere near where he is, and i'm not the one who can help him fulfill his destiny and dreams. more than that, i might just become his stumbling block. if he is to fulfill his destiny in God, he cannot be with me anytime soon.

and as for me, i cannot covet after him anymore.

love is so hard to find, so hard to understand and so hard to let go. i told myself a hundred and one times that now is not the time for me to think about such a thing, but, it seems that my thoughts have fallen on my own deaf ears. quelyn rebekkah is not to dabble in these things. she is not supposed to and not allowed to. especially since my debut is near. i can't do anything silly that will put me in trouble. i have to be a role model.

even though my life is not what it's supposed to be
i'm working towards it.