i don't actually know what i'm feeling right now. but all i have to say is that it doesn't feel like depression. neither does it feel like anger. i just don't really know what it is. this year seems to be fruitful in certain areas and frustrating in others. i can't dance, can't sing. can't anything that i want to. it's painful when you know you want to do something but can't because it's good for you. like how i'm not going for dance auditions although i badly want to because my ankle's not well yet. and it's painful to know that you can't do something because you screwed it up. like what i did to my geyao auditions. and it's painful to be cheated of your feels. like what they did in a certain cca, having enough people but still asking more people to go tryout and not entertain them in the end.
God, why can't i sing and dance?
do you have something better for me?
God, why can't he be mine?
or do you have someone better for me?