second paper of my Alevels came and went today
the invigilators that i've had so far were really nice
yesterday we had two very kind-looking old men
they remind me of my grandfather.
today, we had a very pretty young lady teacher
she was very sweet and even wished us 'all the best'
i feel that i've been very lucky
God really is shining His light upon my life
and that's what i'll continue to believe
studies are ok. family is ok.
friends are definitely ok.
so what's left is my love life
but i promised myself that i wouldn't
i'm not going into another relationship
i don't want to hurt myself
after my last relationship
i finally realized what kind of lover i am
i used to think that i liked to play around
boys = toys.
that's what we used to say in secondary school
but looking back at my the first serious relationship i've had
i realize that i can sacrifice everything and anything
just for the one i love
but it scares me because i will really give up every single thing
but if he doesn't appreciate it, all i'll get is tears in return
he came to ask me out again
but i rejected him
i like him, but i don't love him
or maybe...
i just don't want to get hurt again
but the past few days as i tried to study
i find myself floating away from reality
and going into a bubble of my own
i've started to like a character
he's not even real
but i wish he was
then again, maybe floating in a bubble is good
it takes me away from the reality of studying
takes away the stress and allows me to be in my own world
a little bit of fantasy never hurts