today as we were worshipping, we sang this song
and the words of the chorus struck me
very, very hard.
and i looked back on my life that i was living
slightly more than a year ago
i had just went through a major break-up
i was struggling to concentrate on my council work
plus, i was desperately trying to pull my grades up to get through my promos

sounds like nothing?
well, to me it was the worst time of my life.
i had failed in all the three most important areas of my life
my love life, my leadership responsibilities and my studies
not to mention that my family has always been in a mess
but it was at the worst time of my life that i pulled through
i seeked solace in a brother that i knew, loved and trusted
and he brought me back to Church.

within a year, my life changed drastically.
before i had met my then-bf
i was a leader in my old church youth ministry
serving for coming to 6 years
i was one of their youngest leaders
but then, a very charming man came into my life
i was swept off my feet and concequently backslided
life was ok with whatever was going on
i was succeeding in my council life, my studies weren't too bad
and of course, i had someone who loved me

but i didn't have God.
and that whole equation was one that was bound to failure.

overnight, literally, my relationship went into
one of the worst stalemates i had ever seen
trying to revive that relationship was one of
the dumbest things that i had ever done
because i was too emotional and had no capacity
to handle the whole situation, and i made it worst
consequently, my studies failed and council was a burden

but when i found God again,
He became my freedom.
i wasn't tied down by stupid things.
i was able to live with a regained strength
and He is the reason why
today, i am growing as a Christian again
kneeling at His throne of grace and mercy

truly, looking back
if i went through the same events
once more, without God
i don't even want to think about
what i would be like presently
and what would life turn out to be